Archive for Work

How to Get Back on Track in Life

Life has a funny way of taking us on detours.  We believe we are on track, engaging in business, doing great in our job, we settle into our normal routine of life.

Then in a day everything changes.  You receive a phone call.  You learn a loved one is seriously ill.  One day your pet dies.  You wake up to find someone has busted your car window.  Some detours are small and take a short amount of time to get back on track.  A few hours or a day.  Other detours are life changing and can change the course of who you are.

When the detours happen how can you get back on track?  

Here are a few tips that can help.

Recognize that this too shall pass-If you are dealing with any kind of loss (money, family, friends) there is a period of time of grief.  That period of time is different for everyone.  Time does heal the wounds.  There will be moments when the pain lessens, a moment where you begin to focus more outward, less inward.  Give yourself time to experience the emotions.  Try not to make yourself wrong if you are not on your A game and are not doing the things you normally do.  Sadness, anger, frustration, all of these emotions cloud our ability to think clearly and to take action.

What helps you feel good- Is it your yoga practice?  Your silent meditation in the morning?  A cup of tea with a friend?  A walk?  A favorite blog?  Your book group?  Happy hour?  Music?  Everyone’s oasis is different.  People tend to forget what helps them feel better in times of stress. Once a day, for 10 minutes a day, do something specific for you.  Choose a time, early in the morning or late in the evening where you are certain to not be interrupted.

Consider Life’s Pause Button-One thing I hear from my clients is the frustration of having to put their life on hold when these things happen.  They feel irritated at themselves for not keeping up with their classes, their businesses, their career, their health.  Consider this stressful time a place where you press the pause button on your project.  It isn’t going anywhere.  We sometimes judge ourselves harshly for not getting it all done.  Each one of us only has 24 hours in a day.  In times of stress, the number one priority becomes You. 

When you are ready to jump in again unpause the button.

In the meantime when you are in the in-between space of feeling normal and feeling stress…

1). Reach out to friends and colleagues who are doing the things you want to do.  Say hello.

2). Stay connected to your project with blog articles, videos, websites.  Choose how much or how little is right for you. 

3).  Connect with your support team.  Your life coach, a mentor, a friend, minister, teacher, counselor, therapist, nutritionist, massage therapist, etc.  These individuals can help support you through the stressful times and lessen the amount of time you spend there.

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The Secret to Transformation

caterpillar-to-butterfly

When I say the word transformation what image comes to mind?  What does transformation mean anyways?

What does it mean?  It is simple.  It simply means you want to change something in your life.  You want to be different.  You want the way other people treat you to be different.  Something needs to be different.

Most people think of transformation as the caterpillar and the butterfly.  The caterpillar builds a cocoon and then emerges as the glorious butterfly.  A complete change in identity.  Bam!  And it didn’t look like the caterpillar had to work at it.  It slept on the inside as everything changed.  Unfortunately this is NOT how we humans undergo change.

In fact our critter brain doesn’t like change.  It is focused on survival.  Which is why you may experience so much resistance when you want to change something in your life.  It focuses on: Do I belong and Will I survive?

Unfortunately for us, we can’t sleep our way through changing our life.  It takes action, will-power, dedication, and determination.  And some help with some friends.  Your local life coach, therapist, physical trainer, nutritionist and many others can help.  Someone who is trained to help you face the RESISTANCE.

What is change really like?  It’s about coming against your edges.  The edge is the uncomfortable.  It starts as vaguely uncomfortable, kind of weird, and can build from there.  The good news is this is a place where you have a choice.

I help many people to create action steps to change their life.  I see time and time again this resistance come up.  I am going to identify what RESISTANCE is in every day examples you can relate to.

*You signed up for a gym membership.  You decide 3 days a week, you will exercise.  Day 2 comes along and anything else sounds better.  The resistance is the internal debate, the feeling, the potential decision.  The edge is heading to the gym.

*You want to meet new people, have signed up for meet-up.  You come to the event determined to speak to new people.  Except when you are there the old feelings come up.  You can either talk to people anyway or not.   The resistance is the internal debate, the feeling, the potential decision. The edge is having a conversation.

*You want to attend a class you are interested in.  You think about going.  But its after work, you are tired and the commute is too long.  You can go anyway, enjoy the class or go home.  The resistance is the internal debate, the feeling, the potential decision.  The edge is to go to the class.

*Common themes to resistance are usually related to health, family, and work.

The RESISTANCE is the too tired, too long, too hard, too much to do.  It is all the reasons why what you want isn’t worth it RIGHT NOW.  That is resistance.

And there may be something valid in each of these situations.

Here is the deal.  If you want to change your life or for life to be different, you will have to be willing to experience life in a different way.  To experience the unknown, the uncomfortable, the weirdness.  This changes to comfortable and fine with time.  Especially after the critter brain realizes whatever the situation is survivable.  Most of the time it turns out to be enjoyable.  You want change for a reason.  This reason is a very good one.

What do you do?  There is no right, no wrong.  However, no one can walk the path for you.  Others can stand on the sidelines cheering you on.  A fantastic coach can HOLD THE VISION FOR YOU.  When you can’t hold the vision for yourself.  It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a village to support change.

The butterfly can be your outcome.  The road is not straight.  It is curvy, squiggly, and everyone has their path.

When the resistance comes up,  (when you want a new diet, new exercise, new job, new relationship)  you have an opportunity to make a new decision.  Notice it. See it.  Recognize it.  Invite Resistance to become a friend.  And see what happens when you take action anyway.